Confessions of a Clumsy Scot

Fecking everything.
I am a massive overthinker, but it’s usually not *those* scenarios that keep me awake at night.
It’s just about every single thought you can think of that does.

The tangents you go off with your friends but on steroids and only in my own head.

Maybe this makes me sound mental but I recently learned that there are people in the world that don’t have a voice in their head.
No dialogue.
Is it just actual silence? What goes on. This is the main thought that I think about at least once every night before I go off on another tangent.

Then the tangent usually goes; ‘what job am I on tomorrow? Oh I’ve done work for them before! Was it changing a socket? I wonder who the first person to get an electric shock was and how did that come about? Maybe if I painted rubber on my hands I’d become insulated? But would I stink of those Jelly shoes you wore when you were a kid? I wonder if you still get those shoes with the little doll in the heel?’ Etc etc etc

This normally goes on for around two or three hours before I fall asleep.
Is this normal? I’m not sure if this is something you can just ask people without sounding like you’re a lunatic.
Maybe I am, but alas this is just thoughts in my brain that I rarely actually speak about.

I mean I do get those anxious thoughts and replaying scenarios but it quite quickly goes off on a tangent of some sort.
Maybe this is some kind of undiagnosed ADHD? Maybe this is normal and just no one has ever told me.
It’s probably just Millennial neurodivergence.

I’d love an off switch. People have said to try meditating.
How the fuck do you meditate when you can’t empty your brain. When I try I start thinking about the origins of the brain.
What is a thought?

I’ve tried various sleeping remedies, I’ve forced myself to try different teas, which if you know me is exact opposite of my tipple (black coffee). Minus taking actual sleeping tablets, I’m always open to suggestions to shutting my brain up and being able to sleep.